2012-04-15

I have liked a girl named Bayasgalan for some time and i finally gathered enough courage to text her. Despite my fear she actually took it not all that bad. I told (texted) her that really like her and she is even more beautiful when she smiles. There where like 30 minutes of silence which made me really nervous then in moment of relief reply came saying "Thank you" which made my day. Then i started to text her more often but i feel that she is ignoring me. Maybe it's just my imagination. I have never been able to maintain feelings for a girl more than a week. But Bayasgalan is an exception I've been feeling it for her more than a month. But now my biggest worry is what will happen if she rejects me. I have never felt it this strong before and i am afraid. It's entirely new to me.

2012-04-12

I have been dreaming the same dream over over. "I was at home and i was doing my usual stuff like sitting and watching movies. And then someone rings the bell and i was about to open the door but door opened on its own and some tall stranger with his dog comes in like it is his home. I tried to stop him to say GET OUT. But he went straight to the living room and just stands in middle of room like statue. And for some reason i didn't try to fight him or kick him out which i normally would've have done. But i was just standing in front of him staring at him. He wore our national (mongolian) clothing called 'Deel' had a scar on his cheek, black eyes and hair, more close to brown skin. His dog was huge!!!! The dog was mongolian. It was common dog in the countryside. Or at least it used to be. They were popular because of their size, loyalty and for being perfect guard for live stock they could kill wolves that are attacking. But nowadays the pureblooded ones are almost extinct. Then suddenly the man says something like 'Isn't it time for you to wake up. (then he calls me by some name but i don't remember)' "
i have been dreaming this same dream for 2 weeks now now the only thing that i can't recall is that name. But i am sure that it wasn't my name and that name sounded abnormal or scary.